Thursday, April 9, 2009

Stay-at-home-mom, Keeper of the Home - Real Life Reflections

I have posted up what I consider to be the reasons for why I stay at home and keep house, my "Ideal" job description, if you will.

I have a confession to make: most of the time I do not live up to my ideal.

I don't even come close.

A lot of the time my house is dirty. There are often times when I can't find a clean spot on the counter to make dinner. I often wait too long to wash diapers and barely get the latest load dry before my daughter needs a change. I spend (waste) way too much time on the internet. My toilets don't get cleaned real often. I actually dislike cleaning quite a lot. Sometimes Cora stays in her pajamas all day if we don't plan to leave the house (sometimes mommy does too...).

All of this is to say that while I may aim big, I am no superwoman. I don't always (usually never) have it all put together. To me this is saying a lot about how much time really needs to be committed to doing this job - because if someone who doesn't even work outside the home can't find time to get it all done, how could I ever do it if I worked part or full-time??

But, God does call different people to do different things, and as much as I am convinced in my heart of hearts that this is the job for me (and arguably, most married women and mothers), it is quite possible that He is calling other wives and mothers elsewhere. Now, I am not at all trying to make wives/mothers feel guilty for choices they have made that are irreversible. Nothing can change the past, but it is certainly not too late to change the future. Earnestly seek God's face on these things - he may have bigger plans for you than your 9-5 (or whatever hours they are) and it is possible you will find that God is calling you to stay at work. Only you and God can decide that, I am not here to judge, I'm only trying to put into words what I feel is the vital importance of staying home with children and keeping house for your husband. There are also some women who are experiencing difficult circumstances - single mothers, for instance, who have no choice but to work to provide for their children. Not judging those women, or anyone. That is not my place. I just wish to shed some light into the important role that a woman does have in her own home. If she doesn't fulfill that role - who will?

I just feel that the voice of the wife and mother who stays home is quite silent compared to the mainstream "American" way path of high school, college, get a degree, get a career, and don't let marriage and family get in the way of pursuing your dream. It may not be directly spoken, but I certainly have had to struggle with this attitude for myself. I genuinely believe that I have the better part by staying home and fulfilling my duty there.